1. Soulful Service- Where do you begin to 86?
It started as a way to pay for school, and ended up turning into your career. You’d be rich if you had a quarter for every time someone asked you what you REALLY wanted to do with your life, as you smile sheepishly. In your 20’s you feel on top of the world, making cash, taking trips, going out, and having lots of fun. Your 30’s are where things start to get real. Are you happy? Are you fulfilled. Not likely without real reflection. You work, you go out to de-stress after the shift, you stay up well into the night, and you sleep in half the day to then get up for work and do it all over again. The industry autopilot: sucks you in and takes real effort to get out.
One day, you question yourself about what else is there? Is it even possible to do something else at this point? BAM, the pandemic. You’re displaced from a career you never thought would be taken down. Now you have more time to reflect then ever. Are you happy? Is that the goal? Always striving for what they say is achievable, yet seemingly so far away. When will your life be good enough? What does good enough even mean at this point?
The pandemic provided some hard realizations. What you thought was a normal relationship with alcohol, food, or other coping mechanisms, became something you questioned. The ease of watching tv, scrolling social media, ordering takeout, drinking alcohol, and distracting from yourself became easier than before. It was the new normal. Seemed like a nice vacation at first, but then reality set in with all the other emotions that came along with it. Not to mention only scratching the surface if you have kids and many other responsibilities. It was a lot.
Some of us sought alternative work, others dealt with the nightmare of unemployment payments and if they would come on time for bills and food.
Fast forward 3 years, serving tables, making drinks and managing staff is still the same and busier than ever, but you’ve changed. You’re angry, you’re tired, you’re overworked, and some days you just don’t want to do it anymore. So where do you go from here?
My dad Lee had cerebral palsy, he was told he could never walk or drive a car, to which he did both. He traveled around the world to teach others just how much control they had over their lives, if they just looked inward. If they just “believed” that more was possible for themselves. He always said that sometimes we just needed someone to tell us we were doing a good job, and to believe in us. Not to say that working in restaurants is not a noble profession, it is. It’s the hardest one in my opinion, although I may be bias having been in it almost 18 years at this point. You’re constantly and quite literally, taking orders from others. Listening to critiques about your service, attributing tips to how well you do your job, and at least once in your career, have dealt with verbal abuse from that one customer or manager in your path. I’m here to tell you, that even staying in the industry, there is a way to get fulfillment and rediscover your passion. I believe in you, and you can borrow this belief until you’re ready to see it within yourself.
Join me in this blog, to rediscover your beliefs. To see how amazing you can feel, once you’re not afraid to feel. I believe everyone deserves the same chance to better their mental health. I believe the world needs more compassion and understanding, to which you know better than anyone since you work with people on a daily basis. I believe our industry needs a makeover, and in order to find the true meaning of what keeps us excited to go to work, it starts with ourselves. It starts with those hard conversations, and taking responsibility for our emotions, not because were to blame, but because we’re the only ones that can change things moving forward. You can let life happen to you at the mercy of others, or you can grab it and focus on what’s in your control, in order to live a life where your values align with your future self.
